I’m never going to be. And I’m tired of wishing that I was.
I’m never going to be that girl with the perfect hair, or perfect skin, or perfect smile, or perfect posture, or awesome makeup and fashionable clothes. I’m never going to say all the right things at the right time. I’m never going to get it “just right.” I honestly can’t afford it. It costs money to be that girl; money that I just don’t have. Not to mention time and effort. Time and effort I’d much rather spend making things like art or music, or making a difference in the lives of those that I love, or in the world!
I like art. Some days all I do is make art, and I don’t even look in the mirror. Or I play music. Or I write. Or I just talk to people. All day.
I wish guys didn’t expect so much from girls physically.
Why can’t it be enough that I’m just cute? Why can’t it be okay to make awkward faces? Or get dirty, and not in a sexy way? Or have plain clothes? Or have off-white, semi-crooked teeth? Or completely natural-colored hair?
Why can’t it be okay to not look hot all the damn time?!
Isn’t it a good thing that I’m comfortable enough with who I am that I don’t break my back trying to make my appearance picture-perfect? Shouldn’t that be an attractive quality?
I don’t neglect myself. I’m clean. I’m relatively healthy. I’m not ugly. I try. I just don’t make it my top priority.
And yet I feel like guys always look me over without a second thought.
It’s so frustrating. It makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me. It makes me wish I were someone else. It makes me feel like I’m not good enough. And quite frankly, that’s bullshit.
